


Try- and Keep Trying

by AoKise DaiKi (DigimonDestined)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Feelings, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, aokise - Freeform, perceived one-sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-30 23:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13962267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigimonDestined/pseuds/AoKise%20DaiKi
Summary: Aomine forgets all about the unsaid words lingering in the back of his mind, the, “Kise, damn it, I’m sorry for letting you go that day. I mean I’m not sorry for letting you fall, we both wanted a real game... but it should’ve been me picking you back up.“And forgives himself just enough to melt into Kise.--Or the one with a lot of misunderstandings but they're both adamant in their refusal to give up.





	Try- and Keep Trying

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheAnderfelsOne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAnderfelsOne/gifts), [rubix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubix/gifts).



> PICTURE IS NOT MINE -> https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=manga&illust_id=51103823 (10th image!)  
> By amazing artist: Araxi
> 
>  
> 
> It's realllllly long and mostly about whining and self-loathing and pining; okay you have been warned, enjoy the following mess. Or don't. :D

**PICTURE IS NOT MINE - > [https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=manga&illust_id=51103823](https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=manga&illust_id=51103823)       (10th image!)**  
**By amazing artist:[Araxi](https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?id=220373&type=illust)**

 

* * *

“Aominecchi-”

Aomine doesn’t notice the lack of other people- strange, considering the bus stop is usually bustling with impatient soon-to-be passengers- he just sees the limp bag at the other’s feet, trails his gaze up to the dark stain on his blue shooting jacket, notes how Kise has his fingers against his temple and is blinking slow but repetitive like he’s disoriented.

Aomine has his jacket off in a second, and with another, he’s reaching for Kise. Kise allows him, Aomine’s warm, calloused fingers to brush over the back of his hand before sliding past his wrist so Aomine can lead him into pulling his arms through the armholes. Aomine releases him, and steps back to gently tug the coat close.

“ _A-o-mi-ne-cchii_.” Kise sounds out carefully, leaning back into the glass wall of the stop so he can tilt his chin up with something akin to curiosity. Aomine’s eyes involuntarily flick over to the blue of his earing, dark in the dim lighting from the overhead streetlights in the bus stop’s vicinity, but visible against the pink tips of his ears. Kise’s eyes settle into some hazy, half-lidded state as he murmurs, “Daiki, what are you doing here?”

“You’re drunk, Kise.” Aomine expels sharply, not credited simply by the clarification statement; he's truly caught off-guard because there’s something... _different_ about hearing his given name fall from Kise’s lips. Aomine’s eyes trace them as they purse right before Kise opens his mouth and they can see his breath in the air.

The smell is faint, not full-on rank.

 _Why had the idiot figured it would be a good idea to drink in celebration?_   Aomine gruffly says, “Where the hell are your teammates?”

“Drunk.” Kise mumbles, slouching. In afterthought, he adds, “I’m not drunk. They are. I’m not.”

_Kise is no longer a teammate. (He chose Kaijo; Aomine chose Touou)_

“Yeah, yeah, princess. Drunk where?” Aomine humors him. Their victory against Fukada was well-earned but Aomine’s not so sure about the drinking. “Bar, club, house, what?” It’s not too late; he can spare an half-hour to see Kise home, or at least safe.

__Kise was never his responsibility_. (Never will be) _

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Kise says and when he shrugs his shoulders, Aomine practically bristles with the frustration- but it’s not aimed at the blond. What kind of friends does he have? Allowing him to wander the streets alone and drunk with a setting sun- it was a miracle he’d made it to a bus stop, nonetheless one that was actually on route. Getting lost was practically a goddamn guarantee.

_They are not friends. (Not anymore)_

It’s been more than a year since Aomine has gone to Kise’s house, a year since they’ve hung out together, almost one since they last played a one-on-one, less than one since they talked about stupid things like the terrible teachers they wouldn’t be missing, and the new classes they’ve each enrolled in, ~~pretending the concept of different schools separating them doesn’t exist~~. But the memory of Kise’s home are still fresh. Aomine clears the itching pest in his throat out, and doesn’t add an excuse like, “This bus takes too long.” just says, “C’mon. I’m taking you home.”

_Kise is not his. (Not his to have, not his to keep)_

_Fuck._ This whole conversation has just reiterated everything Aomine knows already. _~~Damn Kise~~ , ~~damn his teammates,~~ damn himself._

“Daiki, I like you.”

_What. The fuck._

Aomine closes his eyes, and draws a long, quiet breath that rattles because of his heart stuttering. There are so many questions instantly, because _what is happening?_

He misses how Kise sits up straight and something not dissimilar to insecurity flickers through his eyes, though he does hear, “Daikiiiiii, I’m still cold.” Kise’s signature whine is back in his slightly slurred voice, and he blinks like he isn’t drunk, like he hasn’t just dropped a fucking bomb on Aomine, like he knows what he said, _~~like he meant it~~_

Kise tugs on Aomine’s sleeve, and looks up into Aomine’s eyes with his own stupid puppy ones. They're wide and guileless- Aomine wants to use them as an excuse to believe in Kise’s words.

Kise doesn’t give him much of a choice.

In a flash, he's suddenly got a messy two-handed grip on Aomine’s button up and is yanking Aomine down. Their lips crash.

It’s so weird- Aomine’s heart is thumping too fast for him to count its beats- god, why would he want to count that- it’s jumped up his throat, but feels like it’s thrumming in his ears at the same time-

It’s so weird- their teeth clink once or twice awkwardly- their noses are touching- Kise’s is cold- Kise’s tongue is surprising and warm and wet against his own- the mild bitterness of Kise’s past drink is on his own tongue- Kise’s bangs are brushing his forehead-

It’s so weird- Aomine doesn’t realize he’s adjusting his hands that had reflexively caught him against the wall for a better grip or that Kise has a hand against his jaw, tilting both their heads for better access.

It’s so weird... Aomine finally closes his eyes and accepts it.

He forgets all about the unsaid words lingering in the back of his mind, the, “ _Kise, damn it, I’m sorry for letting you go that day. I mean I’m not sorry for letting you fall, we both wanted a real game... but it should’ve been me picking you back up_.“ And forgives himself just enough to melt into Kise.

When Aomine finally pulls back,  Kise slides his free hand to Aomine’s forearm to imply _stay._ And because he never seems to have any control over himself when it comes to the blond, Aomine obeys, readjusting his arms to get himself more comfortably braced over Kise, keeping himself close enough for their foreheads to brush. Though the change is fast, Aomine does not miss how Kise’s eyes go from half-lidded like he wants to get into Aomine’s pants _right now_ , here on the streets for the world to see for all he cares, to shining gold uncertainty as he searches Aomine’s, like he could somehow, for some reason, have some sort of protest.

Aomine doesn’t. Though he does want an explanation because _he still has no idea what is going on._ Though he’s on the path of thinking it’s something fucking wonderful.

Kise is first to open his mouth, to announce, “I’m warm now.” And Aomine suddenly notices his flushed cheeks- red from alcohol consumption? Or from their- their activities? Aomine stumbles over the idea in his head because it still feels... funny.

But his apprehension is justified; because kissing your former best friend-turned-unrequited crush ( _Oh yeah-_ Aomine still had questions)- wasn’t it bound to feel more like a silk woven dream that would tear at first touch rather than plain reality?

Aomine pulls away because he can still hear Kise’s slowing inhales and exhales, he can feel the exuded warm air on his own lips, and he doesn’t want to keep looking at Kise because _god_ , he still can’t believe this is happening- happened- whatever.

_Fuck._

Aomine hisses in his head. Now that he can take air in again, now that the warm feelings are cooling back down, the realizations and excuses are coming back in.

He knows Kise is drunk. He knows alcohol gets people to do stupid things. _Fuck._ Kise is probably one of those impulsive idiots who do whatever they want in the moment but forget it by the next morning. _Fuck._ Kise probably hadn’t even meant to kiss him- _Fuck,_ probably wasn’t even aware of what he’d said. Maybe the blond had just thought he was doing a dandy job of playing a prank to scare Aomine.

 _Well it worked._ Aomine clenches a fist and it feels like something is doing to the same to his heart.

It really sucks that he’s always been one to see and hear just what he wants. Fuck him if he thought he heard Kise confessing, fuck him if he thought he’d seen full awareness in Kise’s eyes, fuck him for thinking Kise meant all of it. It’s like this, every single time. Kise gives him an opportunity, invites him to chase him, and then he screws up, he’s too slow, or he understands Kise is up with the stars and Aomine only has himself to blame for latching to the ground because he’s not good with uncertainty, not good with the uncharted territory of the skies.

Dammit.

 _He wants Kise_.

* * *

 Kise tries so hard not to panic, but it’s goddamn near impossible. He can feel his heart practically trying to vibrate out of his chest, and its berating is justified because, _what was he doing?_

Sure, he’d been aware ‘liquid courage’ was a thing. But he hadn’t pictured it would push him so far, hadn’t thought the drinking would affect his thoughts at all, at least not when _Aomine_ was suddenly _right there._ But then he’d dropped his coat over Kise and then started with some nice words in some emotion akin to concern. Acting like a ditz had felt natural, felt like the easiest thing to go with. And then he had accidently said, _Daiki_ and then he wasn’t quite sure how to fall back out of it. Because before Kise knew it, all the stupid feelings of pining, and yearning, and longing he thought he had compressed from vividly conspicuous to insignificant to the eye burst out. Then, he was spouting out garbage, and then _\- then_ there really was no going back.

He slaps a hand over his face to help bury his inward groan.

_Oh god, this was so humiliating._

It was a miracle Aomine hadn’t just punched him right then and there. Maybe he was just surprised, but when he’d opened his mouth, Kise couldn't resist swiping his tongue over the other’s. And then he’d gotten lost, half delirious with the intoxicating taste of Aomine’s mouth, half simply in euphoria _because it was really happening_.

Kise lets out another inward groan.

As distracted as they both are in their individual states, the bus pulls up without much notice from either of them in all its loud, humming, gray bulk, slipping forwards to allow them to enter through the back door.

Kise grabs his stuff, stands up without a word, and albeit unsteady- he still has to play his role- leads the way. He can hear Aomine’s feet behind him, the footsteps blunt like he’s somewhat dazed too.

Once they are up the steps, Kise jabs the button on the machine on the right and it spits out a ticket. He snatches it up and heads to the back of the bus before plopping down into one of the elevated seats.

Aomine _is an idiot._

The power forward sits right beside him and Kise is suddenly stuck between the window and- and... whatever the label for Aomine is.

The bus’s whirring keeps his ~~erratic~~ assumption Aomine can hear his heart pounding down. Kise keeps staring out his window, but he doesn’t really see the blurring film of trees and tastefully designed buildings skating by because the darkening night provides a perfect backdrop to see a reflection of them.

Kise notes his lips are a little swollen and touches them gingerly. Seeing them is another reminder that he tasted Aomine not five minutes ago, and the flush on his cheeks and the heat on his nape revives. Aomine, thankfully, is looking away from him too.

Kise grinds his teeth in contemplation. Maybe he’s naïve believing it’s not out of disgust- _because otherwise why would Aomine be sitting with him?_ But he still can’t quite invent a idea to explain Aomine’s behavior, why the tanned boy has been sitting in equal silence... Unless, maybe he... enjoyed it too?

Kise’s heart eagerly wiggles at the possibility, but he can’t stand the discomfort. Kise exhales the breath, exhales the idea.

But it comes back.

_Aomine wants you._

_No he doesn’t,_ Kise argues. _I confessed and he didn’t. Simple ending._

_Aomine wants you._

_No he doesn’t,_ Kise shakes his head slightly, not daring to use the vehemence he feels in fear Aomine will notice. _He pulled back and- and I was selfish, okay? I made him stay._

_Aomine wants you._

_No he doesn’t,_ Kise stares down at his lap because all the frustration is starting to burn in his throat, because this conversation feels identical to the ones he used to have with himself back when they went to Teiko, and look where that has gotten him? Nowhere. _He’s not saying anything right now because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, he doesn’t want to tell me he... doesn’t like me._

Aomine doesn’t want to eliminate their friendship that appeared to be healing, at least before Kise had pulled his shit.

The imaginary voice finally disappears but Kise doesn’t feel relieved. That just means he’s run out of reasons for trying to pretend Aomine could like him back.

Internally, Kise laughs without mirth.

Ah, he’s always been one to see what he wants- even when he’s in complete darkness, he can make himself pretend he sees a star shining. Even back when Aomine walked away and never looked back, and Kise stared at the 5 on his retreating jersey, he only saw the sun, something so above him setting down for the night, not that he was being left alone again. 

There isn’t enough time in the universe to forget about Aomine. And there isn’t enough potential pain he could inflict on Kise to make him want to forget.

Kise takes a deep breath to calm himself. It doesn’t work so he takes three more, each gradually shorter and quieter. His pulse slows alongside.

Though Aomine isn’t bringing it up right now, Kise is sure they’ll have to talk about it... sometime. Kise blinks. The easiest way to avoid any friendship (further) damaging conflict is to pretend it never happened.

~~Man. It’s gonna really suck pretending everything is okay.~~

Kise straightens. He’ll play up amnesia, he’ll play innocent Kise Ryouta with no recollection of the night besides a fond memory of beating Fukada into the ground and then cheering and hollering with his teammates.

_What bus station?_

_Who was with him?_

_What ~~kiss~~?_

And then Aomine will be relieved because he’ll be free to go on his way, to turn away from Kise once again, continues being the infallible rising sun while Kise will watch pathetically before attempting to stumble along his own.

_Dammit._

Being left behind really sucks.

_He wants Aomine._

The rest of the bus ride and all the feelings that travel with Kise hurts more than his headache.

**Author's Note:**

> (AHAHA GOT YOU :P) IT’S OVER  
>    
> “You’re in love with him, and he’s in love with you, and it’s like a goddamn tragedy, because you look at him and see the stars, and he looks at you and sees the sun. And you both think the other is just looking at the ground.”  
> “But god, just notice you're both looking at the sky.”  
> ^^^ ^^^ THIS  
> \- I know everyone does Kise is the sun and Aomine is the stars but TOO BAD- I GOT LAZY
> 
>  
> 
> \- Ruby, the angst is for you. And this was the one that took me three days and it’s like, 2800 words BUT STARTED OUT AS A 500 WORD?!?! xD  
> \- Sarah, I swear, I’ll learn how to write drama some day, xD


End file.
